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Sunday, 10 August 2008

Sick Dreams

I wonder what you thought when you read that title. Whatever it was, that thought shows what kind of person you are.

To continue with my post yesterday, I'm going to write about this dream that I always have whenever i get a high fever. I get fevers about 4 times a year thanks to my tonsils so that's every three months that I get fevers. Not all of them are that bad though since most of them don't go any higher than 38 degrees celcius so i don't have that dream as much as I used to.

Here's how the dream goes:

It starts out with me seeing a pure white background. It's always silent during this dream and it's not like I'm staring at anything in particular but more like I'm staring at everything. Everything in the landscape is pure white white no lines whatsoever and even though everything I see is all white, it feels like the landscape is moving closer and farther at the same time. At certain times the view feels like i'm almost touching my nose with some sort of wall and at others it feels like I'm falling far away from it .

I'm not sure why but i don't feel the passage of time in this dream. Even though I said it starts out with all white, I just say that because it's the most dominant image I see. Instead it seems like i see everything all at once all in the same place. It'd be a very disorienting thing to see in real life but here it feels like I'm not there and everything is just happening in front of me.

While I'm seeing the white background, I'm also seeing a creeping darkness. It's not misty or liquid-like but solid shaped darkness. Everything was black in the same intensity where it was balck and the same could be said for white. Even though everything looked white where it wasn't black, I still knew somehow there was a white blocky wave on the side opposite the black wave in equal sizes but they weren't in contact with each other. They area between them looked white but it wasn't white. It didn't have a color and even though it looked white it wasn't really white.

What happens is that i see both waves stationary and unmoving while i also see them lashing out at each other and crashing head on. I also see white lines penetrating through an endless dark abyss and black lines crossing across a vast empty whiteness. I never see any other color than white or black and both colors were always intense.

Another part of this dream has me watching a colorless dawn on an empty field of non-whiteness with indivdual bits of white and black that seemed dead to me. I saw this dawn repeat itself over an uncountable number of times in what felt like an instant.

There's this other part where I see either a vast blackness or whiteness and i see this small drop of black or white that looks like it's dropping into a black lake or motionless sea that stretched as far as I could see. I'd see that drop fall down so slowly that it really felt like it's been forever since i started seeing it fall but at the same time i see it repeatedly falling into that blackness over and over so quickly that it didn't even seem like an instant.

Finally I was surrounded by a lot of black individuals that seemed to be in infinite amounts but at the same i was all by myself in an empty white world. Again my sense of time was incredibly chaotic and illogical. I wasn't even colored at all.

Throughout the entire, even though any other person I know would probably be insane after even going through it even once I always felt at peace while I had this dream. It should disturb me but for some I've felt that even though it made no sense logically, it always felt sensible to me.

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