Sunday, 31 August 2008
Anyway, I recently watched the 3rd Mummy movie. It bored me. I could predict everything that was going to happen before it did and that was not because of my talent with precognition. The movie was just too damn unoriginal. I was hoping they could at least throw in a giant monster fight. Giant monster fights are always good. Though I have to say that I did like Jonathan. The same as he was in the first two movies and still as funny.
Onto the next thing. Do you guys remember that Avril lavigne song, "girlfriend"? I don't think she meant for it to be funny but I Laughed Out Loud the first time I heard it in the car. I found it very amusing for someone to go up to a couple and tell them directly that one of them should be replaced with themself. When I saw the music video, I laughed even more. That song is just so damn obnoxious. To add to my laughter I found a video where someone synced the song to a bunch of scenes from "Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu". Normally I am against such kinds of behaviour but that was too well done a video.
Take a look at it:
That's it for now, hope you enjoyed the video as much as I did.
Saturday, 30 August 2008
Lately I’ve taken to casually threatening people in humorous but plausible ways. Not that I actually plan to carry them out. It’s just more for entertainment purposes. I wouldn’t mind seeing them carried out though. I do come up with some rather creative threats.
I guess that it’s actually quite effective when I say it with my poker face but I think I’d be able to get a much better effect by smiling. Especially considering the fact that me smiling usually means that someone else is suffering some sort of indignation at the expense of my entertainment.
Aside from making threats, I do have other deterrents to make sure that people won’t bother me. One of them is actually quite easy to do and requires very little energy and focus to do. Colin once told me that it was called “Acupressure”. I’m not even sure if that’s the actual name for it but Microsoft Word doesn’t seem to argue with the spelling so I guess it’s real. That’s why my posts are quite long by the way. I’ve usually got twenty other pages open in Firefox so I have to make these things in advance.
Back to “Acupressure”. Basically it’s like driving a sword through cracks in the shield. It involves me pressing a finger onto several spots on the body with enough pressure to send a sharp intense pain through that part of the body. You’d be surprised at how many cracks there on the human body.
I’ve tested it on myself sometimes to figure out some of the more troublesome spots. Unfortunately, my ability to dull out pain hinders my attempt at figuring out how effective some of these spots are. There’s also the fact that I’m one of those people who feel like they’re being tickled instead of pain when hit in certain parts. Approximately 50% of my cousins are the same way on my mother’s side of the family. Thankfully the ones that I enjoy bothering aren’t in that 50%.
When I do test these areas on people later, they always look like they were slapped hard in the face. In fact I have this new spot I want to test out on people but it doesn’t really cause much pain but this feeling of disorientation for a few seconds. Unfortunately, I would only be able to use this in practice when in close proximity of my target or in a surprise attack. I’m not even sure of the extent of its effectiveness on other people.
“Know yourself before knowing your enemy”. That is basic concept in the art of war. It means you must be aware of your own capabilities and limits before engaging an enemy. This applies to “Acupressure” very well. I actually figured out how to do it just by understanding which parts of my body would be the most effective places to attack. It doesn’t have the effect of paralyzing people like in those Chinese fighting movies but it is quite useful. I can even use it to relieve pain. It’s quite effective for whenever I have constipation. The stomach pains I mean, not the inability to eject waste. I’ve even used it to relieve neck pains for some people but they usually thought I’d only make things worse or was joking until they realized that it did work. I still remember Hafiz Alidi’s reaction when I managed to relieve him of his neck pain a few weeks ago. It was quite funny. Hopefully I’ll remember to send him emails with pictures of food during puasa like I planned.
There is another saying I like is “Only go into battle when victory is certain”. A very reasonable notion but I do have the tendency to disregard that piece of wisdom when I determine that any result would be fine with me. This “Acupressure” technique that I am capable of wouldn’t be very useful in real life combat on its own but it can be quite useful in creating openings. For example, a sharp thrust in a small unprotected area right under the sternum would force my target to exhale sharply allowing me to follow it up with a decisive knockout blow to several areas that would be open for attack. Thank god my yo-yo skills endowed my fingers with the strength to pull it off. It’s probably the same reason why some people think that I use too much strength while I’m typing.
Hopefully I’ll be able to figure out how to induce effects like sleeping or nausea eventually. It’d be very convenient if I actually could put people to sleep with a single touch. God knows that I wish for it every time my youngest brother thinks that what he has to say is so interesting that he won’t stop talking to me even when I tell him that I have no desire to listen to him talk about how Aliens and Rods exist (I don’t care whether or not aliens exist, they’re just one of those things that I’d say “They exist? Oh well” if they were ever proven to be real. As for Rods, I seriously really doubt there exists an organism that can bend space and time but depends on small little wings to move about). That was just a recent topic he’s been talking about and now he’s moved on to something about some game he plays at school. His talkativeness really gets to me and I have no qualms about shooting down stuff like santa claus with the harsh truth to keep him quiet.
That’s it for now. As for that new spot I want to test out, I think Edmond should make for a pretty good test dummy.
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Yesterday was my eighteenth birthday. Everything proceeded just like the ones in the past few years. The only difference was that it was much quieter than usual. People just wishing me happy birthday and no one singing “Happy Birthday” until it was time to cut the cake. Well… not really, Rif and another friend of mine tried singing it but my guess is that they both stopped because they could tell that I wasn’t in the mood to hear that song. I’ve been acting much quieter than usual yesterday because I honestly wasn’t looking forward to my birthday for some reason.
I’m not exactly sure why though. Even I find it odd that I am unable to enjoy my birthday as much as I usually do. I’ve always looked forward to it every year before this one but I just didn’t feel the least bit excited for today. I even liked the fact that few people actually remembered and that I could just let the day pass by quietly. I suppose maybe it was because I’ve been wondering about the concept of “despair” for the past week or so.
I don’t know whether it should be called a blessing or a curse but having a high IQ can be just as much of a burden as it is of use. Of course personality plays a vital role in that view but I’ll try not to ramble about that in this post. Last time I really took an IQ test online, I got 141 – that’s in the range of “Highly Gifted” since that’s four points short of being a genius. Funny thing about IQ tests, especially timed ones, is that you only have to go through a few times to manipulate so that your score can get as high as 191. I had to make several accounts to that though.
By having this amount of intelligence, I don’t have many problems with mathematics or computers. I do screw up often just because of careless mistakes. The proof lies in my O’level A. Maths results. So basically my logical ability is my strongest field of intelligence while visualization is a second. At least I think it was visualization. I don’t remember the specified ones very well but I do remember that logic was 168 and the second highest was 153 and third was 151. Don’t remember which category was third though.
Since logic is my highest category, it also means my reasoning ability is top notch. Before anyone who knows can think of disagreeing, let me tell you that having high logical ability doesn’t necessarily mean that your common sense will be high as well. Common sense is comprised of three things: Logic, Experience and Etiquette. I would rather have said politics or strategy instead of etiquette but that’s just my point of view while etiquette is easier for others to understand. While it may seem that my statistics in those three are high, average and low in those fields respectively, my knowledge on etiquette is actually quite high. I just choose not to be polite to people because I find it impractical and dull to restrict my opinions around people I know. Unless of course I have to deal with them through some form of business. I find it very hard to socialize with people that have direct influence over my activities. I just can’t shake off this desire to act in a strictly professional manner around them.
I always prioritize practicality over formalities. That means I also hate working on the frontlines of matters and prefer to work in the shadows where no one can see me. Of course people would often think of me as anti-social, manipulative and sometimes evil especially when I start smiling when things go wrong. Unlike most people, I still have the ability to be amused when things go wrong even when it puts me at risk. I guess that means that I prioritize entertainment over practicality. Well except when people are actually depending on me, I rarely get to have fun whenever they do that. As such the number of people who have seen the Death Note films and immediately thought of me when they saw L has exceeded twenty. Those are also the ones who would tell me that in person as well. I was actually amused when seven of them (all of them my cousins) simultaneously pointed at L and shouted my name when they came by while I was watching the L spin-off movie at home. Apparently two of my teachers have told me they did the same thing when they watched the first death note movie years ago.
Anyway back to “despair”. I think I’ve once written that normal people would be quite disturbed at my reasoning on matters like this. I’m actually quite surprised that I didn’t go into depression after picking at this concept. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t done the same thing with “emotions” all those years ago. Although, I did have to write down the more depressing findings on a piece of paper for a couple of days to try to get myself motivated to do things again. And to make sure that I wouldn’t accidentally cause a suicide if someone else read it, I burnt it and flushed the ashes down my toilet. I took me about three days to regain my motivation, it’s actually quite depressing to think about what others would do if they fully understood the contents of that paper.
This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about depressing things. I think I started my habit of thinking about these things during my silent times when I was ten I think. That was the same time I bought a book called “Lord of the Dead” by Tom Holland. When I bought it, I honestly thought it was a book about vampires, werewolves and ghosts but it was quite different from I expected despite it actually having vampires in it. I am actually quite thankful that I read that book at an age where I did not understand the horribly disturbing aspects of that book. I went back to it about five years later during one of my idle hours equipped with much more worldly knowledge only to be shocked by the fact that I had finished such a book when I was ten. Two years later, one of my friends borrowed the book from our classroom’s reading corner only to call it one of the most disturbing books she had ever read. I don’t have that book anymore though since I have no idea who took it last or if it had been confiscated while I wasn’t around by our discipline teacher. It doesn’t matter though since the story of that book is now permanently burned into my memories in the form of a movie that can only be seen by me.
Anyway, my latest venture into this part of the way man perceives reality allowed me greater insights into despair. I believe that I even ventured into the deepest region of what despair meant to me and the inevitability of it. I would even go on to say that I’ve seen “Absolute Despair” in my thoughts. I’d rather not explain or lead people as to what that is but if you think it’s something related to death or loneliness, then you must be leading a happy life which could easily be destroyed if you understood what I’ve concluded “Absolute Despair” to be. I’ve had enough time to get used to it though. To illustrate what I mean, I shall use this one scene from d.gray-man to illustrate my point.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I’d have to agree with that, though now, combined with my proficiency with psychoanalysis, I actually have something I can use break the “core” of most people. I feel that I may have just become a bigger threat towards humanity.
There are many good things about the fact that people can die. Not being able to die while having zero motivation would simply cause stagnation in the civilizations. That and stupidity. I remember watching this movie “Idiocracy” where there's this guy who’s been sleeping in a hibernation pod for 500 years only to find that world is now filled with morons who speak “text messaging” and water has been replaced by an energy drink. After watching it I made a decision. I came up with the top three worlds where I would commit suicide straight away should I find myself there. Here they are:
- A world populated by morons only.
- A world populated by men only.
- A world filled with worm-like creatures.
Despite them being in that order, I seem to have reached the maximum desire to commit suicide in all those conditions so I based the order on the reasons why I would commit suicide or genocide depending on whichever is much more satisfying. Frustration > Displeasure > Disgust. I may be able to overcome my disgust for worms but I believe that I may never be able to overcome the urge to kill myself under the other two conditions.
You can easily imagine why I freely express my distaste towards Kyou Kara Maou to my friends. I honestly can’t see why is it a bunch of self-proclaimed straight guys would like such a series. Unless of course those really are just self-proclamations. Thankfully the fact that Animax will be showing CLAMP’s x x x H o L I c soon cheers me up. Those of you who don’t what that is, please get your mind out of the gutter as it’s a supernatural themed series whose only relation to what triple x’s normally stands for is the appearance of one of the main characters.
On a final note, anyone who knows me shouldn’t worry about me. I have no major symptoms of depression or the urge to start cutting various body parts. Pain only really registers to me when I concentrate on it so I honestly can’t understand why some of the people around find that making small cuts on their body would make them happy. I’d have to say even with my abnormal thought processes, I’m actually a lot more stable, mentally and emotionally, than most of the people I know.
Thursday, 21 August 2008
Recently I acquired some character albums from one the anime I like. Honestly I wish Kyoto Animation would hurry up and deliver the second season but at least they’re continuing another one I like in the fall season. Anyway, the character albums for the main cast weren’t anything special but two of the support characters’ albums really stood out. One had a really upbeat and happy melody but I can’t come to like it as much as I could as the character for that album kept reminding me the dangers that one of my friends now poses to all girls under legal age. Hopefully whatever that guy is doing now isn’t something that could destroy his social life or get him sent to jail. Surprisingly though, there are a lot of people like him who mix up the world of anime with the real world and turn into creatures that society no longer recognize as humans. That sort of thing may have been normal centuries ago but now it’s illegal to indulge in those sorts of preferences.
Anyway, the other character album was really good. Go look up the seiyuu, Shiratori Yuri, on google and you may find a link to a song she sang. I actually set the one I liked best as my alarm despite the fact that it is so melodious and soothing that I may actually fall asleep again unlike the effect that my previous alarm had which would probably turn heads if people heard it because it’s almost unheard of for there to be a song that’s a mix of opera and rap (Iwasaki Taku is an amazing composer!). If I ever figure out how to host it on this blog, I’ll set up the songs I like for you to hear if they’re available for online streaming.
Most of you probably don’t get what I’m talking about or who those Japanese I mentioned were. Both of them were Japanese workers in the anime business. Seiyuu is the term for voice actor or voice actress and a composer is someone who comes up with the songs in the anime. The reason I know these things is because I am very big fan of anime. Despite being a citizen of Brunei Darussalam, I have watched and completed over 200 series of anime and read nearly 150 different manga of various genres in the past 6 years of my life(I did read Doraemon and Dragonball when I was younger but it was only in 2003 that I realized that they came from japan). Incidentally, about 35-40 new anime are introduced every thirteen weeks for each season of the year so I’m not even close to having watched 10% of all the anime out there.
This would seem very biased of me, which normally I try to avoid being but I have to say that Japanese music is so much better than English music. English music only occupies almost a fifth of my entire music library while Japanese music takes up 70% percent leaving the remaining ten percent split between instrumental music and game soundtracks( All the games were made in Japan though).
Why is it that I think that way? To set things straight, it’s not because of the language. If it was the language, I probably wouldn’t be enjoying the few Malay songs that I have. In fact, even though I can watch an anime without subtitles and understand everything that’s being said, it’s still too hard to translate the meaning of those songs while listening to them.
The reason I prefer Japanese songs over English songs is because so many of the English artists seem to be copying off each other while the Japanese keep on experimenting with their sounds. For example, if you listen to a song by Bow Wow and another by one of the many rappers out there trying to make names for themselves, you’ll find that their songs sound very similar. However if you take the songs “Evolution” and “Voyage” by Hamasaki Ayumi, you’ll find that despite both songs were made up by the same person, both are done in very different styles and are very good in their own way.
I’ll admit that it is true that Japanese songs have the same problem as well but it happens far less often to them than it happens to the Americans and that there are artists who are still finding ways to bring out good songs. I can name some of them: Akon, Linkin Park, Goo Goo Dolls, Sean Kingston, Black Eyed Peas and One Republic. You can probably tell that these guys are at the top of my list of favourite American performers(Stephen Colbert is at the top while President Bush is 2nd who is still funny even though his job isn’t actually performing in front of people) despite the fact I haven’t heard any new ones from them lately. I do applaud Linkin Park and Black Eyed Peas( Or to be more specific WILL.I.AM. and Fergie) for having so many different sounds in their albums, they also had some of the more interesting videos. I still can’t understand why critics would slam their albums so badly just because they wanted their songs to go above the norm.
The fact is that a majority of American artists lack creativity in their songs and seem to be filling up their albums that have one or two good ones with a dozen other mediocre ones just to fill in the gaps. I do have to say that they definitely beat the Japanese in terms of music videos which is quite odd for a nation that hold so many superior musicians. They really should think of getting the anime opening directors to direct their videos instead. Look for any video by the “Brilliant Green” on youtube and compare it to say – the anime opening sequence of “Xam’d: Lost Memories”. Love its song by the way.
There’s also the fact that most of them use vulgar concepts and words in their songs which make it hard for me to enjoy them. How is it possible for people to enjoy listening to other people sing about what they should only do in private. Even though I seem to have lost 95% of my ability to feel embarrassment, I can still see how awkward it would be for someone to be blasting such inappropriate songs in a public area. Hell, the juniors at school even seemed to be bothered by the Kingdom Hearts boss music that I was listening to at school while waiting to be picked up and that didn’t have any lyrics in it(Though I only lowered it so that only people in my immediate area would hear it if they really seemed disturbed by it).
The Japanese on the other hand always seem to be trying outdo themselves in their fields, whether it’s in technology or music. Just look at the Nintendo Wii, Xbox360 will NEVER match its sales because it’s the most unique console yet. That’s why I always seem to be finding new Japanese songs that are fresh whether they be sung by singers or composed as background music for an anime. The variety that they have to offer is much wider than any other country I’ve heard(Don’t get me started on Korean songs, almost every single one I hear is a love song about someone missing someone else). Thank god that the same also applies to anime and manga.
Sunday, 10 August 2008
To continue with my post yesterday, I'm going to write about this dream that I always have whenever i get a high fever. I get fevers about 4 times a year thanks to my tonsils so that's every three months that I get fevers. Not all of them are that bad though since most of them don't go any higher than 38 degrees celcius so i don't have that dream as much as I used to.
Here's how the dream goes:
It starts out with me seeing a pure white background. It's always silent during this dream and it's not like I'm staring at anything in particular but more like I'm staring at everything. Everything in the landscape is pure white white no lines whatsoever and even though everything I see is all white, it feels like the landscape is moving closer and farther at the same time. At certain times the view feels like i'm almost touching my nose with some sort of wall and at others it feels like I'm falling far away from it .
I'm not sure why but i don't feel the passage of time in this dream. Even though I said it starts out with all white, I just say that because it's the most dominant image I see. Instead it seems like i see everything all at once all in the same place. It'd be a very disorienting thing to see in real life but here it feels like I'm not there and everything is just happening in front of me.
While I'm seeing the white background, I'm also seeing a creeping darkness. It's not misty or liquid-like but solid shaped darkness. Everything was black in the same intensity where it was balck and the same could be said for white. Even though everything looked white where it wasn't black, I still knew somehow there was a white blocky wave on the side opposite the black wave in equal sizes but they weren't in contact with each other. They area between them looked white but it wasn't white. It didn't have a color and even though it looked white it wasn't really white.
What happens is that i see both waves stationary and unmoving while i also see them lashing out at each other and crashing head on. I also see white lines penetrating through an endless dark abyss and black lines crossing across a vast empty whiteness. I never see any other color than white or black and both colors were always intense.
Another part of this dream has me watching a colorless dawn on an empty field of non-whiteness with indivdual bits of white and black that seemed dead to me. I saw this dawn repeat itself over an uncountable number of times in what felt like an instant.
There's this other part where I see either a vast blackness or whiteness and i see this small drop of black or white that looks like it's dropping into a black lake or motionless sea that stretched as far as I could see. I'd see that drop fall down so slowly that it really felt like it's been forever since i started seeing it fall but at the same time i see it repeatedly falling into that blackness over and over so quickly that it didn't even seem like an instant.
Finally I was surrounded by a lot of black individuals that seemed to be in infinite amounts but at the same i was all by myself in an empty white world. Again my sense of time was incredibly chaotic and illogical. I wasn't even colored at all.
Throughout the entire, even though any other person I know would probably be insane after even going through it even once I always felt at peace while I had this dream. It should disturb me but for some I've felt that even though it made no sense logically, it always felt sensible to me.
Saturday, 9 August 2008
Anyway we then started talking about dreams and was saying how that the dream he saw was the weirdest one he ever had. I then told him about some of my dreams and then he just told me that my dreams are way too weird.
I knew that my thoughts and ideas wouldn't be easy for them to take in, but for my dreams to be so weird that it exceeds the weirdest he had. I can understand if he said that about the recurring dreams I had and the ones I had when I was seven or so but he said that to me after I told him about my dream where an avalanche of tennis balls were coming out of the classrooms of my former ugama school. Even then I didn't go on to tell him that it got weirder than that when I ran away from them only to find a barn opposite the school where I saw a cow hanging from the ceiling inside of the barn. The cow then fell to the ground when the rope snapped and for some reason tennis balls started coming out of nowhere from that huge barn window thing. I Can't remember what happened after that but I'm sure it involved a well somehow. What I find weird about this dream is that I never even played tennis before having this dream.
Years ago, in form three, I remember talking to these two girls about the ghost incident that happened in a particular building in the school a few days before. Two minutes into the conversation, I told them about a recurring dream that I had when I was seven.
It went like this:
I was lying down in my bed asleep at night. But, I wasn't seeing from my own eyes as I was looking at myself. Every was incredibly dark and silent. My bed at my old house was right under a window covered by a peach curtain. I saw my sleeping face facing me arms wrapped around a pillow and sleeping on my side looking to be at peace with everything. I was staring like that until I realized that there was hand dark green long thin and claw-like hand hovering over my face.
My line of sight tilted upwards and I saw, right there sitting on the windowsill a devil like creature. Very dark green fur all over its body and scaly dark green wings tucked behind it's back. It had green pen lengthed bony horns potruding out of its head and incredibly huge red orbs for eyes. It had no mouth and nostrils or ears but it was breathing like a normal human would as its chest was expanding and relaxing slowly. The eyes covered at least 2/5 of it's entire head and they were bulgy like a fly's but were oblong diagonally and glowing a soft red light that got more instense towards the middle.
I calmly looked at it as it stroked the air above my hand in a circlar pattern as it looked down at me. As always, I wondered why I hadn't noticed it when it was right there in front of me. At that point it stopped stroking the air above my head. It slowly rested it's hand on my hair for a brief moment before retracting it back behind it's wing. It slowly lifted it's head and we made eye contact. Its posture made it look like it was going to leave soon but all it did was stare into my eyes until the end of the dream.
After I told them about it, both of them looked a lot more spooked about it than they did when we talked about the ghost thing. I asked them why they looked like that and they both asked me why wasn't I scared about dreaming something like that. I told them I just wasn't and that it never really did anything to me except watch me.
Honestly I do understand at how that would be scary but I just wasn't scared of that dream. It just seemed normal to me at that time and when I think about it, I always had this odd feeling that something was watching me whenever I was inside my house when I was little. After that they just said that I was too weird to be normal.
I really do wonder about myself sometimes. I don't get scared that easily and I don't really have any fears towards the things in this world or on the other side. I wonder what that guy would have said if I told him about this particular dream...
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Well anyway on to the main thing. Recently I've been told by a friend that my face is actually somewhat scary. She heard from another one of my friends about me scaring off some people when i made eye contact with them at the mall weeks ago. I found that pretty damn funny and it got funnier when I tapped my friend on the shoulder and stared him in the eye. Sure enough he turned his head with an anxious look when he realized all i was doing was staring at him. It would explain why some people seem nervous in front of me even though I just put on a bored face because smiling hurts my jaws.
Although, if i did smile more frequently people would probably be a bit more afraid as my normal smile has only one side of my mouth raised making it look more like a smirk. My cousin who is under the alias of Kuris Khun on my cousins' blog actually once told me to stop doing that when I smile because it makes me look evil. When I grinned at him for saying that he got worried that I was up to something and therefore that makes my grins look somewhat demented.
Oh, how I do enjoy scaring people so~
Well it does explain why people get annoyed at me for using logic to ruthlessly slam down their arguements. It's most likely that they thought I was being condescending when I was just explaining the faults in their opinions. I know several people who just won't accept the reasoning I give them and just keep trying to reinforce their own ideas by repeating the points of the idea in different ways. The digusted looks I saw on some their faces really brightened up my mornings and whenever I do it to one particular classmate who seems to be trying to get me to admit defeat in an arguement lately, he does thing where he tries to block out my voice by blocking his ears and saying sounds, I always have fun with that. Good thing we weren't debating philosophy as he wouldn't have just lost in that, he would most likely become terribbly depressed to the point of a break down as I'm certain that he's not one that can handle the absolute reasoning behind my conclusions on certain topics, most people aren't.
On a side note, I recently took a personality test that said my personality was the same as Albert Einstein. Guess some of you guys get to say that you were right about that at least.
Here's the link: