Movie Review: Vampires Suck

Vampires suck. Not just the movie's name but also both an opinion as well as a fact. However, unlike Friedberg and Seltzer, I really don't feel the urge to explain how that joke works. Knowing just exactly what kind of quality these guys churn out, I would have just waited maybe a year from now to watch it on one of the movie channels but somehow fate threw it my way and I gave it a shot today. The fact that I happen to think vampires are actually the creepy motherfuckers that they are instead of zombie sex gods that the media are out to market them as may have also added the extra motivation I needed to spend 75 minutes of my time to watch it.

The movie is basically a spoof of the Twilight series covering what I think was the first, second and last bit of the third book. I should probably blame TvTropes for knowing how much they were spoofing there and the Twilight series itself for only having so much plot to make fun of. For a more in depth synopsis on what the movie is like, go watch the trailers for the corresponding films of the books.

Let's start with what we've come to expect from the movies that these two notorious directors are known for. A shallow parody with every joke that's been filled with jokes they probably found over the internet as well as excessive and unfunny Take Thats at celebrities. That's what you're expecting with this movie and that's exactly what I saw. However, it seems that two have learnt a little since their last picture and have cut down on the unfunny business. There's still enough making fun of the Jonas Brothers, Lady Gaga and other various icons to make you want to groan but they actually throw a some new twists to the long stale jokes they've put in. There were a couple of scenes that worked pretty well too. Though not exactly funny, I really cringed at how painful it looked during the self defense scene with Becca and her dad.

I actually have to give them some credit for the jokes(Edward: You guys are always trying to eat the girls I bring over! It's so unfair!)that actually made me laugh and the improved pacing that the movie had compared to their previous stuff. The flow was a lot more consistent and there was a good deal of foreshadowing in spite of the triviality of whatever they hinted at. I didn't think those guys even knew how to pull a Chekov's gun on us. I would definitely say that this was one of their better movies and was enjoyable enough to watch for its own merits. Not quite enough to pay movie tickets for but enough to watch with friends when you don't have to pay for it. They still suck at ending things though. They always seem to save the most out of place and anticlimactic jokes for last.